This week was equally as hard and as stressful as last week. And newsflash, this week isn't over yet. Last night was our first choir concert of the year. This is my third year in choir and this year I have the awesome chance to be one of two "Student Directors". We're essentially the leaders of the choir. We direct some pieces but mostly focus on unity. It's kind of time consuming.
But lately I feel like I've been running out of time. I am the world's champion procrastinator. Hello world. Sue me.
So I've been slacking off as the student director. Letting other people take over my responsibilities and just being poop head of the world. Woot.
But then I have this issue called I complain every second of every day....awesome.
So choir. Is hard. I really enjoy Chamber Choir, but when I walk into A Capella I just want to throw up. It is SO hard for me to be in there. I always wonder how I'm supposed to lead these kids if I can't even like them.
Last night before our concert I was LIVID. I had SO much homework, had been at rehearsal today and A Capella choir WOULD NOT SHUT UP. And here's the deal. I know how easy it is to talk to your friend in just a whisper and not even realize it, but there is a line that I draw. If you can't show someone respect, you need to get out of my life. Brat much? Yeah. Like I said. Very inadequate.
So then I quieted the choir and said in my best "I'm going to treat you like a child" voice: "Excuse yourselves. You WILL respect Haley and I tonight. I know that we have the potential to be the best choir there ever was. But right now, I have never been more terrified to showcase talent. You KNOW better. Shape up or get out."
And then I felt like a brat.
So I didn't talk to anyone else the rest of the night.
Except for Aaron Nelson who wasn't even there for that little speech.
Yeaaaahhh......
And then at rehearsal today I yelled at people.
Dear Emily,
If you want anyone to ever be your friend, get more sleep and shut your mouth.
Stop thinking bad thoughts about people and get a life.
Stop procrastinating.
Love,
Emily.
Today..I just feel a little inadequate. Do you measure up?
Did I creepily find your blog?
ReplyDeleteWhy yes dear, yes I did.
You can talk to my dear friend Ali Hansen who creepily found your blog first. Stalker much? I was hanging out with her and a bunch of my friends on Friday and inevitably started complaining about A Capella choir, due to relating the story of Sara eating my poptarts in choir when my back was turned. AHH!! I told them that I was starting to get used to Chamber slowly but A Capella felt like willingly swallowing toothpicks. Cool analogy, no? Then Ali said she'd read the same thing on your blog which she found due to her previously mentioned stalker ways.
So yeah.
Blame her.
But I googled your name and blogspot and VIOLA! Google does great things.
And boy, do I feel better, because I really admire you and sometimes I just HATE choir. Knowing you feel the same makes me not feel so lonely :) I have to mentally and emotionally steel myself everyday for choir. I go in there, and whereas I assume I'm well liked when I'm not chewing out the choir like you, I just don't have any best buddies in there. I mean, I'm friends with everyone, but they've all got their best friends, and all my best friends are studying it up and probably going to ivy league (cough cough Ali) instead of being in choir like me. Sometimes just don't feel like I belong in there. But your post about how you felt like you had no friends on the way to SLC? NEVER. WOULD'VE. GUESSED. you would possibly feel the same way because it seems like you always have so many people to talk to in there. And that's comforting.
I really do admire you! I look up to your for your leadership, smile, and singing in choir. You know how awesome it is to know that you feel the exact same way I do in choir?? Like I'm not facing all these people alone.
I ask my friends if I should feel weird for not fitting in with the all the weird people in choir.
They say no.
Maybe we can join together and take on the weirdness tide together!
Love,
Karen
P.S. Pay no mind to the Death Cab for Cutie name, they're one of my favorite bands and I used it for my user name for Young's Honor's English blog. And I can't figure out how to change it back.